Deconstructing “Fedya”

Who is Fedya?

Fedya is me. “Me” being this person who was born in tough-but-caring mix-Asian family. But Fedya wasn’t always called Fedya. In fact he is known by his birth name “Firdaus”, meaning “heaven”. Until now, he is still not sure how he feels about that.

Okay, so how did Fedya got to be called “Fedya”?

Fedya got his name from a group of Kazakh an Russian students who studied under the same university as him. They see him as good friend, one that they can trust whenever they have social/cultural problems in Malaysia. Fedya almost always never say “no” to help them when they in need. And Fedya also love learning Russian language for some reason. Blya nu hui ego znaet, chto on dumayet. V rezul’tate, eto muzhik Porusskyi neploha.
But that’s not how Fedya got to be called “Fedya”, no.

So what’s the real story behind Fedya being called “Fedya”?

The story of why Fedya is now known as Fedya is less cooler than that. Fedya was called Fedya after a pronunciation snafu of his real name. From “Firdaus”, it turned into “Firdos”. And from “Firdos”, it turned into “Fedor”. And finally, “Fedor”, turned into “Fedya”, because in Russian slang, people with the name “Fedor” are often nicknamed as “Fedya”. And the rest is history.
Fedya sees himself as this great observer or “tourist” of life. But many misunderstand him as a person who is an anti-social and a person who hides his true self beneath a mask. Does Fedya what people thinks about him? A little. After a good meal, and a good sleep, he feels as Fedya as he can ever be.
But something changed in Fedya recently. He stop Fedya-ing. He conforms himself to…

To…?

Nah, too lazy to write about myself. I said the word “Fedya” way too much now. I don’t want people to think that I’m narcissistic now. Take care.

…What The Fuc-

Language, you dingus.
You know, I never really like you anyway.

What? Who? Me?

Yeah, you, “me”. You like talking to yourself. Why? That’s a trait only an insane person would do.

Oh please, you created me. I didn’t even want to be here in the first place.

…You know you’re talking to yourself right?

Yo dingbat, you’re the one who is talking to yourself. I am talking to “you”, not “me”. 

You know that’s the same thing, right?

No it isn’t.  

Yes it is.

No, it isn’t.  

Yes, it is.

NO IT IS NOT!

YES IT IS YOU NARCISSIST. Oh my God… You’re Narcissist.

I SAW THAT!

Saw what?

I SAW THIS!

screenshot_335

Checkmate, Fedya.

 

…I don’t understand…?

You spellchecked your spelling of “Narcissist”! That’s lame.

Oh my God, you just did the same thing. But on “spelling”. Like who on Earth can’t spell “spelling”?

You also can’t spell “spelling just a moment ago “speeling”? Hahahahaha!

Shut up! Narcissist! Hey, look I found your Doppleganger!
WWF-Lex-Luger.jpg
Oil up, and hit the gym with The Gaming Historian, you Narcissist!

Dear Lord, do you know how many people would not understand that reference at all?!

Like seriously, I rather be that, than being a blob-y black tofu, like you. Which I am!

And also, DON’T YOU DARE say anything bad about “The Gaming Historian” or I’ll slap you.

Oooooh, that’s a lot of writing for a silly pic. Someone’s piss-y.
And slap me? HA! Prove i-

HAH! How does it feel now?!

Ow, ow, OW! OW! OW! STOP! YOU COULD’VE AT LEAST WAIT FOR ME TO FINISH TYPING YOU BITCH! SINCE WHEN YOU CARE ABOUT PEOPLE GETTING YOU?! NARCISSIST!

And here’s a GIF to represent how it played out:

giphy

It was magnificently, weird. 9 out of 10, would do it again.

 

NARCISSIST!

Okay, is that the only thing you got? Calling me “Narcissist” over and over again?

No, I got “this” too.

…I can’t see it.

What do you mean, I’m holding “it” in front of you.

You mean you’re holding it in front of the monitor? That’s not “me”, you idiot.

OH, SO YOU DO KNOW I’M HOLDING IN FRONT OF THE MONITOR. WHO’S THE IDIOT NOW?! I’m going to-

TIME-OUT! The readers don’t know what you’re holding! Maybe add a picture of what you’re holding on this blog?

Woah, no. This is too private. Are you crazy?

Oh please, you’re trying to MacGuffin it.

No…Yes.

Plus you’re not actually holding anything. It is nothing but just a figment of your imagination. You’re writing this way to engage with you readers more while also telling them about you, but at the same time not really telling them much about you.

Well, you got me there! Woohoo! Mr. I Know Everything! Well, guess what, you’re a figment of my imagination too!

Yeah, I know. But I am still “Me”, and You’re still “You”.

Is this a “Goodbye”?

Maybe. If you want to. I miss talking to you sometimes. Why didn’t you talk to me back after all these years?

I changed. Everybody changed. I thought I wanted to be normal. I wanted to conform.

What made you changed back?

Fedya?

Are you there?

Ah, that’s right. You’re not “You” anymore. You’re “Me” now. Hehe, quite the trickster you are, Narcissist.

Welcome back, Fedya.

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